Merlin Hits The Net
by QueenAllan
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are trying to keep their relationship secret, but Morgana pushes at every corner and Uther is an internet troll. Merthur on Facebook.


**_Merlin_**___and_**_Morgana_**___are now friends._

**_Arthur_**___and_**_Gwen_**___like this_

**Morgana** **Merlin**"Why didn't you add me before?"

**Merlin -**I don't know.

**Morgana**- I'm holding this against you.

**Arthur**- Watch out, she might try to kill you.

_**-Morgana**____like this. _

_—-_

**Arthur** **Merlin** "I found a spot on my armor. I need you to come polish it immediately."

**Merlin** - I'll be right over.

Morgana - We all know what you mean by "polishing armor." There's no use hiding it.

-**_Gwen_**_and_**_Gaius_**_like this._

**Arthur** - I don't know what you're talking about.

**Merlin** - Arthur can't be seen in dirty armor.

**Morgana** - *sigh* If you're going to be so stubborn about it…

**Uther** - lol.

—-

**Gwen** **Merlin** "So how are things going with Arthur? You two seemed pretty happy today."

_-_**_Morgana_**_,_**_Gaius_**_, and 11 Others like this._

**Merlin** - What are you talking about?

**Gwen** - Just come out with it already.

**Merlin** - Come out with what?

**Gwen** - …

-**_Morgana_**_likes this_.

—-

**_Merlin_**_has changed his relationship to "It's Complicated."_

**Arthur**, **Gwen** and 36 Others like this.

—-

**Merlin** **Arthur** "So when can I change my you know what to you know what."

**Arthur** - Can you be any more vague, Merlin?

**Morgana** - He wants to know when he can change his relationship status from "It's Complicated" to "In a Relationship with Arthur."

_-_**_Gwen_**_and 54 Others like this._

_—-_

**Uther Pendragon**"Walked in on my son standing very close to his manservant. lol."

**_Morgana_**_and 343 Others like this._

—-

**Merlin** is now friends with **Morgause**.

**_Morgana_**_likes this._

**Arthur** - Are you adding every witch that comes along now?

**Morgause** - Don't be jealous, he's not interested in me romantically.

_-_**_Morgana_**_and_**_Gwen_**_like this._

—-

**_Arthur_**_has changed his relationship status to "It's Complicated."_

**Morgana**- Synchronized boyfriends.

_-_**_Gwen_**_,___**_Gaius_**___and 67 Others like this. _

—-

**Arthur Pendragon** "There is nothing going on between me and Merlin."

**Gwen** - Merlin and I*

**Merlin** - …

-**_Morgana_**_likes this._

—-

**Morgana** **Arthur** "I don't think Merlin can take secrecy much longer."

**Arthur** - We aren't keeping anything a secret.

**Morgana** - It's okay, I know. I read his blog.

**Arthur** - His what?

**Morgana** - Oh, Merlin has a Tumblr now. He didn't tell you?

**Merlin** - …I think we need to talk…

—-

**Arthur** **Merlin**"You're an idiot, you know that?"

**Arthur -**But at least you're my idiot.

**Morgana**- Touching, it really is. You really know how to sweet talk don't you?

**Arthur -** I hate you.

-**_Morgana_**___likes this._

_—-_

**_Arthur_**_is in a relationship with___**_Merlin_**_._

**_Morgana_**_,_**_Gwen_**_, and 67 Others like this._

**Uther**- lolwut.

_**Merlin**____and_**_Gwaine_**___are now friends._

**_Merlin_**___and_**_Leon_**___are now friends._

**_Merlin_**___is now friends with_**_Nimueh_**_._

_—-_

**Gwaine** **Merlin**"You should've added me sooner. Now I can tag all these pictures I have with you."

_**Merlin**____likes this. _

**Arthur -**Wat?

—-

**Gwaine** **Merlin**"Are you still coming round for dinner tonight?"

**Merlin** - Definitely! Arthur hasn't made any plans with me so I'm free tonight.

**Arthur**- …WAT?

—-

**_Morgana_**_,_**_Morgause_**___and_**_Nimueh_**___like this photo of_**_Gwaine_**___and_**_Merlin. _**

**Merlin**- A trio of witches can never be a good sign.

**Morgana**- Or can it?

**Morgause**- We didn't even have to cast a spell.

**Morgana**- We really should have thought of this sooner.

**Arthur**- MERLIN. WAT.

-**_Morgana_**___and_**_Morgause_**___like this. _

_—-_

**Merlin Emrys**said "Arthur is upset with me."

**Gwen -**DISLIKE!

**Gwaine**- Want to come round for some cheering up?

**Arthur**- No. He's staying with me tonight.

**-**_**Merlin**____and_**_Gwen_**___like this. _

**Gwaine**- Dislike.

—-

**Uther Pendragon**has listed **Merlin Emrys**as his son.

_**Arthur**__,_**_Gwen_**___and 239 Others like this. _

**Merlin**- Does this mean I don't have to be a servant anymore?

**Arthur**- I thought you liked playing servant!

-**_Morgana_**_,_**_Morgause_**___and 96 Others like this._

**Arthur**- BEING MY**

—-

**Gwaine**17:34:07: "Have you been avoiding me?"

**_Merlin_**___is unavailable to chat._

—-

**Gwaine** **Arthur**"Do you know why Merlin isn't talking to me?"

_**Arthur**____likes this. _

_—-_

**Morgana** **Arthur**"So should we overthrow your kingdom or should we let your jealousy over Merlin do it for us?"

**_Morgause_**___likes this. _

_—-_

**Uther Pendragon**said "I didn't need to see what I just saw. :,(((((("

**Arthur**- I'd say I was sorry, but that's what you get for not knocking.

**Arthur**- It felt too good to be sorry about.

**Arthur**- Merlin is good at what he does.

**-**_**Gwen**____likes this. _

**Merlin -**ARTHUR!

—-

**Morgana** **Gwaine**"Are you coming to dinner tonight? I'm having Merlin over."

**Gwaine -**I'll be there.

—-

**Gwaine** **Merlin**"Why weren't you at Morgana's for dinner?"

**Arthur**- Did you forget the fact that she's a witch?

-**_Morgana_**___likes this._

_—-_

**Merlin** **Gwaine**"Will you stop sending me relationship requests? I'm spoken for."

**Arthur**- WAT?

**Morgana**- Fuck.

—-

_**Arthur**____is now Engaged to_**_Merlin. _**

**_Gwen_**_,_**_Gaius_**___and 107 Others like this._

_—-_

**Gwen** **Merlin**"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE PROPOSED?"

**Merlin**- Because he didn't. It's only Facebook official.

**Gwen**- That counts for EVERYTHING.

—-

**Hunith** **Merlin**"I TOLD YOU HE CARED FOR YOU. YOUR MOTHER KNOWS BEST."

—-

**Kilgharrah** **Merlin**"Destiny."

**Arthur**- Destiny and Chicken!

**Kilgharrah -** No. Just…no.

—-

**Gwaine** **Arthur**"I hate you."

**_Arthur_**___likes this. _

_—-_

**Merlin Emrys**said "Okay, guys, Arthur and I aren't getting married! It's just on Facebook!"

**Arthur -**We're not?

**Merlin**- Well…I mean…

**Merlin**- Not right now…

**Merlin**- Right?

—-

**Gwen** **Arthur**"HURRY YOUR ASS UP AND PROPOSE!"

**Hunith**- GET YOUR ASS DOWN ON ONE FUCKING KNEE.

**Gwen -**TAKE OUT A FUCKING RING

**Hunith**- AND PROPOSE.

—-

**Merlin Emrys**said "So…um…I'm hyperventilating right now."

**_Arthur_**___likes this._

_—-_

**Merlin Emrys**said "HE PROPOSED."

**_Gwen_**_,_**_Hunith_**___and 576 Others like this. _

**Uther**- Too bad it's illegal.

**Uther**- TROLOLOLOLOL.

**_Arthur_**___has changed his relationship status to single._

**_Merlin_**___has changed his relationship status to Widow._

-_**Uther**____likes this._

**Gwen**- Um…what?

**Kilgharrah -**You have failed me, Merlin.

-**_Arthur_**___likes this._

_—-_

**Hunith** **Merlin**"ARTHUR IS DEAD? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD YOUR WEDDING YET. I'LL NEVER BE ROYALTY NOW."

**_-Arthur_**___likes this._

_—-_

**Merlin** **Arthur**"I miss you so much. Why'd you have to die? "

**Arthur**- I miss you, too. It's lonely being cremated. Cuddle with my ashes.

**Merlin**- Okay, that's just weird. I'll be in your chambers in ten.

**Arthur**- I'll be underwater.

-_**Merlin**____likes this._

_—-_

**Uther Pendragon**said "lulz, I'm tr0lling Tumblr. LYFFIZGUD."

**Arthur -**Sometimes I pretend that you're not my father. It helps me sleep at night.

**Uther -**loltxtit~~

—-

**Kilgharrah** **Arthur**"My slash senses are tingling."

**_Morgana_**___likes this._

**Merlin**- I don't know how you always know when Arthur and I…well…you know.

**Morgana -**There's nothing mystical about it. The whole kingdom can hear you, Merlin.

**-**_**Arthur**____likes this._

**Merlin**- I'm not that loud!

**Arthur**- Merlin is definitely a screamer.

**Merlin**- ARTHUR!

—-

**Uther Pendragon**said "4:20 BITCHEZZZ"

**Arthur**- Do you even know what you're saying anymore?"

**Uther**- lulzz

—-

**Uther Pendragon**said "I hereby decree that my son and his boyfriend can legally marry within the realm of Camelot…lulz."

_**Hunith**__,_**_Gwen_**___and 773 Others like this. _

**Uther -** I didn't post this.

**-**_**Morgana**____likes this._

—-

**Uther** **Arthur**"Did you hackzz my account?"

**Arthur**- Nope.

**Uther**- Then there's only one explanation for this.

**Arthur**- Please don't say it.

**Uther**- SORCERY.

**Arthur -**How do you have friends.

—-

**Kilgharrah The Great**said "I wish Merlin would quiet down. Since we're connected I can hear everything he says or thinks."

**Merlin**- …sorry…

**Arthur**- What can I say? I'm good at what I do.

**Kilgharrah**- Modesty is a virtue.

**Arthur -** Says a dragon who calls himself "The Great."

**Kilgharrah -**But I -am- The Great Dragon.

**Arthur -**You're also the -ONLY- dragon. There's no one to verify what you say. Merlin nightly verifies what I say.

—-

**Uther Pendragon**said "I can't figure out how to delete the earlier post so I have no choice, but to let my son get married to a…"

**Uther -**SORCERER.

-**_Arthur_**___likes this._

_—-_

**Gwaine** **Merlin**"You have broken my heart."

**Merlin**- You'll recover.

**Gwaine -**I will surely die.

**Arthur**- At least you'll stop hanging out below my window so that you can hear Merlin better.

—-

**Merlin** **Morgana**"I need your help. Get rid of Gwaine."

**_Arthur_**___likes this. _

**Morgana -**Why can't you do it yourself? You have more magic than me.

**Merlin**- I'm not evil.

**Morgana**- Valid observation. I'll see what I can do.

—-

**Gwaine** **Merlin**"I think you should know that Morgana has turned me into a woodcutter made of tin."

**Gwaine**- I don't have a heart and I rust in the rain.

—-

**Morgana Pendragon**said "A house fell on Morgause. Working on a resurrection spell now. Some girl ran off with her boots though."

—-

**Uther Pendragon**said "A girl and a dog asked for a heart for her friend made of metal. I killed them for…"

**Uther -**SORCERY.

**Arthur**- You killed Gwaine.

**Uther**- lulzzz!1!11!1

**_Merlin_**___and_**_Arthur_**___are now married. _

**_Gwen_**_ likes this. _

**Arthur**- I honestly thought more people would like this.

**Uther -**What's to like? You're married to a

**Uther**- SORCERER.

**Arthur -**I'm not talking to you.

—-

**Uther Pendragon**said "I am tired of these shenanigans."

**Merlin**- What shenanigans?

**Uther**- …

**Arthur**- He's not talking to you because you're a

**Arthur -**"SORCERER"

**Uther**- SORCERY!

—-

**Kilgharrah The Great**said "I'm going deaf from Merlin's screams."

**Merlin**- At least they're screams of pleasure instead of pain.

**_-Arthur_**___likes this._


End file.
